Friday, March 3, 2017

** Pardon My French **


Day 3
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** Warning **
I swear like a trucker.
You will get a small dose of that here.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Don't say I offended you.
Ye' Be Warned !
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As a child, I never put thought into how people viewed me and my actions.
As a teenager, I said I didn't care....but you better believe I did.
As a young adult, I cared...but chose to be blind and deaf to negativity.
Today, I am conflicted.

My body language to my peers is one of compassion.
My workouts are my own and approved by my doctors.
My style is an expression of comfort and simplicity.
My voice stays strong even when I feel weak.
...yes...I can be weak...just like everyone else...
My eyes stay focused on the future.
My mind stays steady in the present.

So why?
Why do I feel mad?
When people cast judgement and opinion, why do I care?
Why do I get defensive, with my shoulders up to my ears?

I think I have found the answer.

People cast judgment and opinion while self proclaiming it is "out of love". 
That they are "protecting me from myself".
That they "care" about me.

Pardon my French,
Bullshit.

You care about looking like a caring person.
You have no idea that your words and stares are tearing me apart on the inside.
All because "you care".

Bullshit.

If you really cared....you would get to know me as a human and a soul.
Not as a spectator.
You would then understand why I do what I do.
Only then would you answer, how I became who I am today.
Knowledge is power.

I dare you to get to know me,
and still stand strong to your "caring" judgments and words.

In the meantime,
I will be spending my time training my mind to let go of the effect you have on me.


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