Dude...Where's My Car?

Day 21

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P Perpetually stuck in the cycle of "one step ahead, 2 steps behind"

R Really pushing my limits and comfort zones lately

O Or am I stretching myself thin?

D Do I continue on this path of self discovery or take a break?

U Understanding....my "quick break" would be a month long hiking hiatus.

C Community engagement is exhausting

T To think, people actually have time for Netflix and relaxation

I I think I need a nap. Or 2. 

V Very heavy eyes are pulling me to my pillow

E Every body part is half asleep...my brain going 100 mph

D Dude....where's my car? Just kidding. Dude....where's my life going?

A Actually, I don't want to know...leave the future a surprise

Y Yah....I like surprises. Let's see what happens. Life, bring it on!

Inspirational Search .... Literally

Day 20

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I don't know what to write about today.

Feeling drained, run-down, and spread thin.

So i'll look for inspiration,

literally....

By going on Pinterest...

and searching for the word "inspiration"...

and writing about whatever post is number 19...

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Well damn....Isn't that truth!?

I struggle to move forward today in my writing...

and this is the random image I chose!

Nike and Adidas sell it to you...

"Just Do It" & "Can't Stop, Won't Stop"

But it's soooooooo hard to do that sometimes.

Raised to pull my big girl pants up,

settle into the chaotic groove,

show no fear and no weakness,

conquer the world....

But i'm tiredddddddddddddd.

I just want a nap. A quick one.

Then I can conquer the world.

Today

Day 19

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Today I am 26.

Today someone actually asked me what I wanted in life.

Today I ate a birthday pancake.

Today I had a sugar crash.

Today I saw old friends in the grocery store.

Today I listened to the radio and the world.

Today I didn't think about the past.

Today I walked my dog and kicked up some snow.

Today I didn't think about luxuries.

Today my heart was at home.

Settled.

Tomorrow....

I set my soul afire again.

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PS. 

This picture was taken in Alaska.

We spontaneously drove to Denali at 3am.

We chased the sun rise and drank whiskey.

Life was perfect.

Absolutely perfect.

This picture gives my heart butterflies and my memories wings.

______________

PPS.

My all time favorite song is called "Today"

.....

So today it is!

Carpe Diem!

Ready Or Not

Day 18

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I have a plan.

But I don't have plans.

I have direction.

But I don't have directions.

I have mapped it all out.

But I don't have a map.

 I want to visit a new place, an old place, and a wild place every year.

I want to make residual income a primary source of income.

I want to take camping and hiking trips with my dog.

I want to continue with a life long pursuit of knowledge.

I want to be happy, whether I have someone by my side or not is irrelevant.

I want to find my roots. Find my core. Find my purpose.

And I will...

Oh,

 I will.

My Little Weirdo

Day 17

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I've always had a soft spot for animals.

Any animal.

Yes...snakes and spiders included.

I rescued my dog 3 years ago.

Brooklyn, NY -- a case of neglect and left on the side of a highway 

Marlo.

Mr. Manimal

He is my rock.

Sometimes I think he is my families rock too.

He's a weirdo.

But he's our weirdo.

He is a pocket pitbull mixed with boxer.

He has a giant head and little body.

He fears the wind.

He doesn't like getting his paws wet or dirty.

He is a failure of a stereotypical pitbull.

He is allergic to everything.

He breaks out in hives.

He gets ear infections all the time.

But he is my baby.

My fur child.

Any other animal lovers in the blog today?

Rescue parents?

Foster failures?

It Doesn't "Just Happen"

Day 16

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Strongman gave

 me strength and 

shattered

glass ceilings.

Powerlifting gave

 me discipline 

and structure.

Bodybuilding gave

 me knowledge 

and control.

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I wasn't born strong, disciplined, organized, motivated, or in control of anything in my life. Life dealt me cards that made me this way. Life provided opportunities to teach me these things. I have built my foundation upon the stones cast at me, I have learned to build walls just the same as the three little pigs built their homes. It takes a lifetime of knowledge and experiences and opportunities to learn what works and what doesn't work and how to make success for yourself. Not stumble upon success, not find success, but make success, create it! These sports have saved my life, given me the tools to heal my broken body, fine tune my health, and have given me knowledge and awareness far beyond the stereotypes they carry.

Compartmentalization

Day 15

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This may be the most personal blog I have posted thus far.

I was 18.

My brothers 15 and 8.

My Dad sat us down together,

told us he was a good father but not the best husband.

And that was it.

Within days he was moved out,

living with a replacement family and replacement kids.

I listened to Mumford and Sons and compartmentalized.

AKA, I buried my emotions too deep to be discovered.

It has been 8 years since that day.

My life has changed exponentially.

I have changed exponentially.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Which sounds mean.

Please understand,

 I would never wish this pain upon any wife, husband, family, or child.

But,

What's meant to be, will always find a way.

Would you believe me when I say,

I love my Dad more than anything?

I love my family more than anything,

I love my mom more than anything,

no matter how broken we were or are.

They are my family,

my ohana,

 my blood.

My family is this old Chinese proverb,

and I am so so grateful everyday to have them.

My heart could burst.