Monday, March 27, 2017

Try Harder People!!!

Day 27

Is Authenticity Dead?


Everything feels rehearsed...
scripted even.


How are you?
I'm good.
How are you?
I'm doing well, thanks.


This weather is brutal.
How is your family?
Did you see on the news today?
You look very nice today.


How about;

How is your life going?
What is your dream career?
If you could travel anywhere, where to?
Do you believe in fairies?
Unicorns would be awful fun to ride, don't you think?
How are you, as a person...not as a current emotion...?
Do you like to read?
What do you do in your free time?
Who's your favorite human being?
Do you love animals?


Try Harder People!!!


Sunday, March 26, 2017

Is it Me or My Writing?

Day 26

The light....
I see the light!
The end of the tunnel is so close!

This blog challenge began with amazing inspiration,
It exceeded all expectations.

But now....
I am losing sight of purposeful writing.
I am tired or typing.
I am without spontaneous writing prompts.
My thoughts are depleted.


Or am I losing sight of purpose?
Am I tired?
Am I losing my spontaneity?
Am I depleted?


Image result for nap meme

Twice in One Week!

Day 25

I blogged yesterday....
but then I forgot to post it....
because life has been busy....
which is no excuse.....

but seriously.
I'm kind of sorry.

Just a little.


I feel like there's a lot of stigma and expectations attached to being a woman.
And no, this is not a female empowerment post by any means… So don't get your hopes up.
When I say stigmas and stereotypes, I mean that outsiders think.....
 "we are all catty and secretly hate each other."
 "We are all superficial and compare our bodies and make up two other girls."
 "We hate other girls because we envy their hair or their height or their bra size."

There's this odd cloud that sits over female friendships, and female communities,
and I feel as though a lot of outsiders must imagine the drama, gossip, and trash talking that happens behind the girls backs.
 Granted, I know that this does happen often and that's why the stigma is attached to female groups.
But time and time again females impress me,
which is a weird thing to say when you say it out loud but it's true.
Females can be the most terrifying and hurtful group,
 but they can also be the most supportive and motivating group to be around.

 If you surround yourself with the right girls, anything is possible.
Just recently I threw a party at my house for the company my mom and I work for, so it was a presentation party.
Now, I'm not much of a socialite, I tend to prefer nights at home, so I didn't expect many people to show up.
Alas, last night my kitchen was filled with women who were all there to support me and my mom in our journey and the business that we're dedicating time to.
We all shared in inappropriate laughs, sampling, a few glasses of wine, and just good vibes and positive energy.

 I hate to say this, because I'm not sure it's either a reflection of myself… Or my personal past experiences…
But I'm ashamed to say that I never imagined that type of support from a group of women.
 God, it sound so stupid saying it out loud, and I'm sorry if this insults anybody because I underestimated anyone…
It wasn't the women specifically,1
But after being bullied for most of my childhood by girls....
Women still terrify me.

I love all the women I invited and wouldn't trade them for anything

Back to the point;
Wow, women are absolutely empowering, supportive, and beautiful beautiful beautiful people.

So if anyone's out there struggling with female friendships or bonds, you just have to find the right fit. The right community. The right group of women that are going to pick you up and keep you up,
because they love you.

Friday, March 24, 2017

Changing Perspectives

Day 24

Changing Perspectives.


Have you ever seen something,
so new,
so powerful,
so raw,
that it's changes your eyes?

These are some examples of my
favorite and most life-changing videos.

I Forgot To Blog!

Day 23

I forgot to blog.
But I did take a leap in the right direction.
Actually, I booked a flight in the right direction.

Business event in Vegas in April.
Which I never would have even considered.
But, i'm taking a leap of faith,
investing in myself,
and going!

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Bob the Builder

Day 22

"I'm going to help you build your life."

This is what a good friend says to me.
He has a few years on me.
His experiences and mine are on opposite spectrum ends.

"I'm going to help you build your life."

What a good friend should always say.
How many friends of mine build me up?
It's easy, I can count them on one hand.
It's impossible to count all the others who tear me down.

"I'm going to help you build your life."

Why do we settle for friends who don't say stuff like this?
My friends, my good friends,
they build me up and force me to expand.
They respect my shell when they "coerce" me out of it.

"I'm going to help you build your life."

Only those who see your soul,
Your inner light,
Your endless possibilities,
say this stuff to you.

"I'm going to help you build your life."

Thank you,
my dearest friends.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Dude...Where's My Car?

Day 21

P Perpetually stuck in the cycle of "one step ahead, 2 steps behind"
R Really pushing my limits and comfort zones lately
O Or am I stretching myself thin?
D Do I continue on this path of self discovery or take a break?
U "quick break" would be a month long hiking hiatus.
C Community engagement is exhausting
T To think, people actually have time for Netflix and relaxation
I I think I need a nap. Or 2. 
V Very heavy eyes are pulling me to my pillow
E Every body part is half brain going 100 mph

D Dude....where's my car? Just kidding. Dude....where's my life going?
A Actually, I don't want to know...leave the future a surprise
Y Yah....I like surprises. Let's see what happens. Life, bring it on!

Contrast The moon is the light and the sky is dark aspect. They are compared next to each other. It shows the opposites of light and dark making the moon stand out.:

Monday, March 20, 2017

Inspirational Search .... Literally

Day 20

I don't know what to write about today.
Feeling drained, run-down, and spread thin.
So i'll look for inspiration,

By going on Pinterest...
and searching for the word "inspiration"...
and writing about whatever post is number 19...


18 pretentious Pinterest inspiration quotes that do actually make you feel better about life: Well damn....Isn't that truth!?

I struggle to move forward today in my writing...
and this is the random image I chose!

Nike and Adidas sell it to you...
"Just Do It" & "Can't Stop, Won't Stop"

But it's soooooooo hard to do that sometimes.

Raised to pull my big girl pants up,
settle into the chaotic groove,
show no fear and no weakness,
conquer the world....

But i'm tiredddddddddddddd.
I just want a nap. A quick one.

Then I can conquer the world.

Sunday, March 19, 2017


Day 19

Today I am 26.
Today someone actually asked me what I wanted in life.
Today I ate a birthday pancake.
Today I had a sugar crash.
Today I saw old friends in the grocery store.
Today I listened to the radio and the world.
Today I didn't think about the past.
Today I walked my dog and kicked up some snow.
Today I didn't think about luxuries.
Today my heart was at home.

I set my soul afire again.


This picture was taken in Alaska.
We spontaneously drove to Denali at 3am.
We chased the sun rise and drank whiskey.
Life was perfect.
Absolutely perfect.

This picture gives my heart butterflies and my memories wings.


My all time favorite song is called "Today"
So today it is!
Carpe Diem!

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Ready Or Not

Day 18

I have a plan.
But I don't have plans.

I have direction.
But I don't have directions.

I have mapped it all out.
But I don't have a map.

 I want to visit a new place, an old place, and a wild place every year.

I want to make residual income a primary source of income.

I want to take camping and hiking trips with my dog.

I want to continue with a life long pursuit of knowledge.

I want to be happy, whether I have someone by my side or not is irrelevant.

I want to find my roots. Find my core. Find my purpose.

And I will...
 I will.

Create the things you wish existed. #LifeQuotes:

Friday, March 17, 2017

My Little Weirdo

Day 17

I've always had a soft spot for animals.
Any animal.
Yes...snakes and spiders included.
I rescued my dog 3 years ago.
Brooklyn, NY -- a case of neglect and left on the side of a highway 

Image may contain: dog

Mr. Manimal
He is my rock.
Sometimes I think he is my families rock too.
He's a weirdo.
But he's our weirdo.
He is a pocket pitbull mixed with boxer.
He has a giant head and little body.
He fears the wind.
He doesn't like getting his paws wet or dirty.
He is a failure of a stereotypical pitbull.
He is allergic to everything.
He breaks out in hives.
He gets ear infections all the time.
But he is my baby.
My fur child.

Any other animal lovers in the blog today?
Rescue parents?
Foster failures?

So true. 🐾:

Thursday, March 16, 2017

It Doesn't "Just Happen"

Day 16

Strongman gave
 me strength and 
glass ceilings.

Powerlifting gave
 me discipline 
and structure.

Bodybuilding gave
 me knowledge 
and control.


I wasn't born strong, disciplined, organized, motivated, or in control of anything in my life. Life dealt me cards that made me this way. Life provided opportunities to teach me these things. I have built my foundation upon the stones cast at me, I have learned to build walls just the same as the three little pigs built their homes. It takes a lifetime of knowledge and experiences and opportunities to learn what works and what doesn't work and how to make success for yourself. Not stumble upon success, not find success, but make success, create it! These sports have saved my life, given me the tools to heal my broken body, fine tune my health, and have given me knowledge and awareness far beyond the stereotypes they carry.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017


Day 15

This may be the most personal blog I have posted thus far.

I was 18.
My brothers 15 and 8.
My Dad sat us down together,
told us he was a good father but not the best husband.
And that was it.
Within days he was moved out,
living with a replacement family and replacement kids.
I listened to Mumford and Sons and compartmentalized.
AKA, I buried my emotions too deep to be discovered.

It has been 8 years since that day.
My life has changed exponentially.
I have changed exponentially.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Which sounds mean.
Please understand,
 I would never wish this pain upon any wife, husband, family, or child.
What's meant to be, will always find a way.

Would you believe me when I say,
I love my Dad more than anything?
I love my family more than anything,
I love my mom more than anything,
no matter how broken we were or are.
They are my family,
my ohana,
 my blood.
My family is this old Chinese proverb,
and I am so so grateful everyday to have them.
My heart could burst.

story of kintsugi may have begun in the late 15th century, when the shogun Ashikaga Yoshimasa sent a damaged Chinese tea bowl back to China to be fixed. It returned held together with ugly metal staples, launching Japanese craftsmen on a quest for a new form of repair that could make a broken piece look as good as new, or better. Japanese collectors developed such a taste for kintsugi that some were accused of deliberately breaking prized ceramics, just to have them mended in gold.:

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

But Why

Day 14

Why do I always write in the center of the screen?

How come I never use transitional phrases?

What is my issue with shoveling snow?

Where is my patience with adults and technology?

What causes my headaches when I use phones and computers?

Why can't I have more tolerance when my family drives me mad?

How come my dog is just like me?

Why can't I drink out of glass cups?

Why do I have to be allergic to all my favorite seasons?

Why does life have to have so many unanswered questions?

Why can't I post something without a picture included?

Why am I so quirky?

Why do I like whiskey better than anything else?

Why do I love my jobs so much?

Monday, March 13, 2017

Advil and Tea and Snuggles, Oh My!

Day 13

Today I am home sick.
Second time in two weeks,
I was looking forward to a peaceful house.
Snuggling with my dog.
Being warm in my bed with some tea.

But no.

I have spent the last 4 hours working.
Studying Network Marketing.
Watching podcasts.
Reading books.
Doing actual network marketing.
Starting my own business.
Running two other organizations.
Kissing my dog occasionally.
Sipping tea more occasionally.

I have not stopped.

Maybe next i'll walk the dog,
you know...
before we get over a foot of snow tomorrow.
before my fever comes back.

Oh March,
You beautiful, cold, germ and allergy infested beast.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

After A While

Day 12

Today I found this old book that a friend had given me once upon a time,
and it has ultimately led to self reflection.
Doesn't everything at this point?
Looking back on how time flies and one thing remains the same,
my love for poetry.

Here's is one of my favorite poems, send me some of your favorites please!!


After A While 
   ©1971 Veronica A. Shoffstall 

After a while you learn 
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman,
not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn...

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Usually My Nightmare, Not This Time !

Day 11

Small Moment.
But an oddly big one for me.

My cousin is getting married this October,
and I don't think I could possibly be more excited for her.
We went bridesmaid shopping today,
which usually is my worst nightmare.
Shopping....and dresses....good lord.

But it was actually an amazing morning.
Like, for me, this morning was one for the books.

My cousin's look that she is aiming for....
my God I almost melted!
So classic,
My heart radiates every time I think about it.

I love my family.

Friday, March 10, 2017

Good Morning World

Day 10

"In order to become who you want to be,
you must already believe that you are that person."
--Jamie Pinder

A few months ago I partook in an all-female bodybuilding event.
At this event were women from all walks of life;
bikini competitors,
strongman competitors,
diet specialists,
small business owners,
clothing designers,
social media celebrities,
college students,
everyone and anyone.

This event was designed for any women who wanted more.
And oh, did we want more.
We were chomping at the bit, 
soaking up every drop of advice and inspiration.

Now, today I sit reflecting on my experience at this event.
I've had more time to resonate on the information I learned.
I've mulled it over day-to-day and week-to-week.
I've dissected it to find out what feeds this memory flame.

I'm not selfish.
I'm not lazy,
I'm not a faker.
I'm not a cheater.
I'm not a liar.
I'm not a one-upper.

But, I do want more.

Maybe that's why I remain happily trapped in the vicious cycle that is lifting.

I want to be healthier.
More efficient.
More successful.
More multidimensional and diverse.
More helpful.
More honest.
More raw.
I want more.
I want more of me.
I want more of life.
I want more of happiness.

This is all in my control.
I am both the lion and the tamer.
I am the lotus and the mud.
I am the sun and the moon.
I am who I want to be already.
I am just beginning now to emerge into the light.

Good morning world.

Please check out: It’s wicked Thrilling!:

Thursday, March 9, 2017


Day 9

First things first, just because social media has supported and invented #throwbackthursday doesn't take away the importance of self reflection. Whether it's in a journal, in a coffee shop with a friend, or on social media… Self reflection is key to growth and self love, regardless of hashtags!


Three years ago I was living with such fire in my eyes, with such a chip on my shoulder, and with such determination that I was convinced I could conquer the world if I put the work in. That mentality has stuck with me in every journey that I set into motion. Now, it wasn't a sense of empowerment that Strongman gave me. It wasn't a sense of "girls can do anything". It wasn't a sense of being stronger than everybody.

It was about shattering glass ceilings.
Not the type that normal standards and social settings have set for us, but my own glass ceilings, my own ability to self limit myself. Strongman showed me to have faith in myself, in my body, and to always test the limits. One of my favorite quotes loosely states, "what a shame it would be for a human to grow old without seeing the potential of its own body", and Strongman allowed me to do that. No one can tell me what I can and cannot do, including my own mind.

This picture is not the most flattering or glamorous, but it captures a pivotal moment in my life. At this particular competition I was the last person to do every event, which meant I had the advantage of watching what every other girl did and rising to those standards. This was a moment where I learned the difference between being tired and being done. I watched as all the girls went 100 feet, 200 feet, 300 feet and dropped it when they were tired. Drop it perfectly at the starting point, setting it up for the next athlete. Drop it and walk away as they shook their heads in disappointment. Drop it at the half way point and raise there arms in victory as they surpassed their own expectations. I watched as the pattern arose, these competitors putting their best foot forward, step after step, letting their mind and body battle it out until they drop that sandbag.

When it was my turn the world faded away, as it always does when I compete in any sport. It's just me, and that moment, and that task… That's always how I walk into these settings. I picked up the sandbag and began, unknowingly, to change in my own life. I set foot after foot, breath after breath, regripping the sandbag and hugging it tightly to my body as if it's all I had. I begin to get tired, my legs started to cramp, my back started to burn, my lungs begin getting tighter with the cold air and forced breathing.

But I kept pushing.

My arms begin to get tired, my neck becoming stiff with fatigue, my feet start forgetting what their job is. But I kept pushing. Until I failed. Why did I drop that sandbag? It wasn't because I was tired. It wasn't because my body hurt. It wasn't because my brain told me, "OK you've done enough". It wasn't because of any of that. It's because my mind and body pushed hard, too hard, to the point where they both reached the highest level of effort and exhaustion and they both failed at the same time. That was a moment of enlightenment for me. I didn't drop the bag, I dropped my entire body and my thoughts all in a heap on the cold grass. My shoulder blades were dislocating, my body was numb, I began coughing and continued to cough up blood for a week. It's hard to draw this moment into words, which is why I have not written about it until now. It is still hard to find the words for it.

Imagine my mind and my body as a bear and a lion, standing strong and tall and their pride and strength and battling it out, claw after claw and bite after bite. They begin to slow down, breathing heavy and giving it all they've got until.... at the same moment they make eye contact with heavy breathing, and just stop. They did all they could and they both knew that, satisfied in their abilities and efforts, and they bowed to each other and collapse in exhaustion.

Perfect, painful harmony.

My own glass ceiling, shattered by myself.
By my stubbornness to never give in.